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End Days

 
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Kyrian
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Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 191



PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:08 pm    Post subject: End Days  Reply with quote

http://collectiveheights.myfastforum.org/sutra899.php#899

Please Critique.
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Vael wrote:
17: Kyrian and I have more characters than you.
If you think otherwise, then you're wrong.
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Bookboy



Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Posts: 16



PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It seems a bit short, even for a short story.  I like the idea, though.
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Kyrian
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Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 191



PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

>.>
<.<

I knew I should have mentioned that only was part of it.
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Vael wrote:
17: Kyrian and I have more characters than you.
If you think otherwise, then you're wrong.
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Bookboy



Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Posts: 16



PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright.  I thought that was the case.  Great intro.  Definately sets a scene.
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Bookboy



Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Posts: 16



PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very good.  Only complaint is that Nazgol sounds a bit too much like a LotR knock off.

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